You know that old saying that “those who love take care of each other”? Well, taking care of a relationship also involves preparing for the future, even before saying the long-awaited “I do”. And that’s where couples therapy before marriage comes in.
Does it seem like an exaggeration? It may seem like one, but don't worry, I'll show you how this can be a huge help in starting your life together on the right foot. Because, you know, getting married is beautiful and all, but it's also full of challenges.
Let's face it: no one teaches us how to deal with all the issues that can arise in a marriage. From small differences to the most complicated dilemmas, such as money, jealousy or how to deal with your mother-in-law (haha!).
What if we could learn to deal with all this? before becoming a problem? That's exactly what pre-marriage therapy can provide.
By the way, this type of therapy is not just for those who are in a relationship crisis, you know? Quite the opposite! It is for those who want to get to know themselves better, understand their partner and strengthen the relationship before taking the big step.
In other words, if you are about to get married, consider this emotional investment on your checklist.
And if you're still hesitant, thinking that this isn't for you, hang in there and come with me as I've separated some topics to show you how couples therapy before marriage can be transformative.
Opening the game: communication is everything
First of all, let's talk about communication. Because, look, if there's one thing that breaks a relationship, it's bad communication.
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Many times we think we are being clear, but the other person understands something completely different. And then, presto: stress begins.
In premarital couples therapy, the couple learns to truly listen to each other. It sounds simple, but listening attentively, without interrupting or judging, is a gift that not everyone has developed.
It’s like learning a new language: the other person’s love language. In addition, therapy helps identify patterns of conversation that are getting in the way. You know when one of you always shuts down and the other becomes the “feelings inspector”?
Well, this is more common than it seems. With professional guidance, it is possible to adjust these behaviors. Finally, it is worth remembering that communication is not just about talking, right?
It's also about knowing how to deal with silence, understanding what's behind the words and even accepting that, sometimes, the other person won't react the way we want — and that's okay!
Expectations vs. Reality
Everyone enters a relationship with baggage. Some people expect a romantic comedy-style marriage, with flowers every day and zero fights.
Real life, however, is a little more… shall we say… confusing. That’s where premarital couples therapy comes in again.
It serves to align expectations and avoid those disappointments that appear out of nowhere, just because everyone was expecting something different.
During the sessions, there is a lot of talk about the future: children, work, finances, religion, routine... Things that, when not discussed, end up becoming a time bomb.
With the right mediation, these delicate topics become easier to address. Another important point is that everyone has their own idea of what is “right” in a relationship.
And when these ideas clash, things get complicated. Therapy helps to create a shared vision that is more flexible and less idealized.
Learning to deal with conflicts
Fighting is part of life. There is no couple that never argues — and if they say they don't fight, someone is probably keeping it to themselves, which is also a problem.
The secret is not to avoid conflict, but to know how to deal with it. With couples therapy before marriage, the couple learns tools to resolve conflicts in a healthy way. This includes active listening, empathy and, most importantly, respect.
There are discussions that could be avoided by simply taking a breather. Others really need to be addressed, but in a way that doesn't turn into a war.
Therapy teaches the difference between these situations and how to react in each one. In addition, it is super important to learn how to apologize and forgive.
You can't start a life together carrying old grudges or thinking that the other person has to guess everything.
Strengthening the bond
Last but not least: strengthen the connection. Because, at the end of the day, getting married means sharing your life with someone. And this connection has to be strong to withstand life's ups and downs.
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Couples therapy before marriage helps partners understand each other better, identify what brings them together and what separates them.
It's like an emotional intensive, you know? A preparation for the journey that lies ahead. Many couples report that they leave the sessions feeling closer, more secure and even more eager to get married.
After all, when the foundation is well-built, everything becomes easier. And it doesn't have to be an eternal thing, you know? Sometimes, a few sessions are enough to give that little push that was missing.
Is it worth investing?
So, to answer the question in the title: is it worth investing in couples therapy before marriage? Of course it is! It is an emotional, personal and even practical investment. It is not an expense, it is preparation.